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48

Why I Almost Killed Somebody When I Cleaned my Coffee Maker

Feb 19, 2011 4:40 pm by Paul Jenkins in Family, Personal, Technology

Let’s put this post in the category “doing something for a really big company that would save a lot of people a lot of frustration if the big company would take 5 minutes and update their website.” Let me ‘splain…

The B99 and I were in the coffee maker shopping state for a while, and eventually we decided on the 10-Cup Thermal model by Mr. Coffee. Wendy (my Better 99%) had one requirement – the thermal carafe – and I wanted something that made it easy to brew coffee, since I do most of the coffee making in the home. I’ve got to say, this machine is the real deal, and we have been very pleased with it, except for when the clean light came on.

A quick Google search for our model (BVMC-PSTX91) took me right to the manual on Mr. Coffee’s website and right there on page 12 were the simple step-by-step instructions for what to do when the clean light comes on. I followed them to a “T” and pushed the clean button. Basically the cleaning cycle pushes 3 cups of white vinegar through, pauses for 30 minutes, and then pushes the last cup of vinegar through. Then you run a few cycles of water through and you’re good to go.

Right. Except for the fact that after the first 3 cups went through, the clean light started blinking and the coffee maker started emitting this high-pitched, shrill noise that went on continuously. The first time this happened I was outside and so the B99 let it go since I had told her not to touch anything until the cycle was finished. So, when I came back in I heard an ungodly, piercing noise and found Wendy in the corner in a fetal position mumbling something that sounded like “make it stop.” I tried pushing the clean button, but when I pushed it again, the soprano from the land of hockey sticks was back. I unplugged the machine and waited a bit before plugging it back in. She was gone!

I decided to try again. I poured in 4 more cups of vinegar and pushed the clean button. Same thing happened, only this time it was worse because I had to hear it, too. I told the B99 that we’d let it run for 30 minutes and hopefully it would stop at that point and run through the rest of the cleaning cycle. We passed the time trying to match the high pitched noise. By the time the 30 minutes were over, we still had a piercing shrill coming from the coffeemaker and a yard full of neighborhood dogs.

At this point, I turned back to my friend, Google. I typed everything I could think of to try and find a solution.

“Mr. Coffee makes high-pitched sound during cleaning”
“BVMC-PSTX91 cleaning cycle not finishing after 3 cups”
“Police find couple twitching uncontrollably after neighbors call to report an odd, high screeching noise coming from home”

Nothing. Even when I clicked the link at Mr. Coffee’s website for “special cleaning instructions,” there was nothing about a noise during the cleaning cycle.

Finally (and the fact that this was my last step should give businesses a clue about how important their internet presence is), I actually called Mr. Coffee for help. Surprisingly, Mr. Coffee sounded like a female living in Indiana. I think I was expecting more of a Juan-type voice. She asked what I needed, and I told her about the problem with the cleaning cycle and the shrill noise and that my wife was in the corner of the kitchen rocking back and forth. She mentioned that others had been experiencing this same type of beeping during the cleaning cycle, and I clarified with her that we weren’t hearing beeping, but rather one continuous “fingers on a chalkboard” sound that made us want to kill somebody.

She laughed – nervously – and seemed relieved to hear that we hadn’t actually hurt anyone.

The solution, she told me, was simple. “Just put 2 more cups in the reservoir and that will trigger the cleaning cycle to continue until it is complete.” Apparently the sound that makes you want to stick something in your eye is just coffee maker-speak for “please add 2 more cups than the instruction manual calls for.” The obnoxious noise is the way the coffee maker punishes people like me for not knowing that intuitively.

So, I am now putting this classified information on my blog in case some other poor sap finds himself uncontrollably slapping small animals that show up in his yard during an attempt to clean his Mr. Coffee BVMC-PSTX91 10-Cup Thermal Coffee Maker. It would be much simpler for the company that makes the appliance to put it on their website, but that’s crazy talk.

Besides, my version is A LOT more fun to read.

(here is the link to the Mr. Coffee BVMC-PSTX91 10-Cup Thermal Coffee Maker manual if you need to download it)




48 Responses to Why I Almost Killed Somebody When I Cleaned my Coffee Maker

  1. annie keys Feb 19, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    LOL! I love to read your stuff, Paul! This was extra special great cause we are avid coffee drinkers–

    Reply
  2. Sharon Feb 20, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    You made me laugh. It was such a relief after the tears and hair pulling that had accompanied the squeal.
    My fifteen-year-old, blind golden retriever, Charlie,thought the world was coming to an end.
    We are all relieved.
    Thank you for doing what Mr. Coffee did not.

    Reply
  3. Bruce May 13, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    Thank you!! I just attempted to clean my BVMC-PSTX91 for the first time and that happened to me too…I was quite confused, to say the least. The manual is extremely vague about what exactly is supposed to be happening, but that horrendous noise kept going for over the 60 minutes that the manual said it should take. Confused, I assumed that maybe it was done…so I brewed 2 batches of water to clean it out…and that stupid orange light is still on! Now I have to go buy more vinegar and restart the process, I suppose…but at least I know how to do it successfully this time…so thank you very very much! :-)

    Reply
  4. Catherine Jun 7, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    I loved your humor. After going upstairs and putting a pillow over my head for thirty minutes, the noise was still there. Your blog saved the coffee maker from being smashed. Thank you for the information and the laugh.

    Reply
  5. Justin Jun 11, 2011 at 11:15 am

    THANK YOU! I almost lobbed the damn thing off my roof!

    Reply
  6. Paul Jenkins Jun 11, 2011 at 11:24 am

    Catherine and Justin – your coffeemakers are very glad I wrote this!

    Reply
  7. LeeAnne Tindall Jun 15, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    Thank you! You have returned calm to my house. The two dogs, toddler, and husband were all frantically trying to make the horrible noise stop.

    Reply
  8. Carl Jun 19, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Thank you VERY much for this info.
    Saved me a call to ask the same question you asked.

    Last Mr. Coffee I buy !

    Reply
  9. Matthew Jun 23, 2011 at 10:13 am

    Such a humorous approach to this post! It is also amazing that in the manual they dont tell you how to use it properly, but they tell you what not to do…”CAUTION! Never immerse the coffeemaker itself in water, in any other liquid or place in the dishwasher.”

    Reply

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  11. KAREN Aug 13, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    I’m so glad you posted this! I Googled “shrill sound mr coffee clean cycle” and yours was the #1 hit. My family thanks you for your humor and saving us from “death”

    Reply
  12. Jillian Aug 16, 2011 at 9:40 am

    THANK YOU SO MUCH! I was listening to that awful sound as I stumbles upon your blog…a god send if you ask me. I ran to fill the pot while reading this in hopes not to wake my napping child. Lesson learned. Do not clean when child is sleeping :) Love your humor and THANK YOU for this post. I will read it again and pretend you have an Indian accent so I can feel some of you pain :)

    Reply
  13. greg Aug 20, 2011 at 4:25 pm

    I am glad you shared this on you blog. I also was about to go looney, but my poor dog wanted to hide somewhere in the hills far, far- away.

    Reply
  14. becca Aug 27, 2011 at 4:33 pm

    thank you so much for sharing this – i was just totally freaked out by it and couldn’t find any other answers, either!

    Reply
  15. Rachel Aug 29, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    Add me to the list of people SO very thankful that you wrote this. I thought I was losing my mind!!!!

    Reply
  16. Coni Sep 2, 2011 at 10:20 am

    Paul, the horrid experience you so beautifully described happend to me JUST BEFORE A HURRICANE HIT MY AREA…yes, on August 27th before our power went out, the clean light came on. I quickly pulled out my instructions and did as they said…only to hear that sound. I tried all the obvious things one would as many have, and, of course, nothing worked. Hurrican Isabel came and we lost power, phone and internet service for five days. Each day seemed longer since I had a cup pf coffee, not brewed, but made on a CLEAN cycle when my husband ran the generator. My husband, Richard came to my rescue when when he found your wonderful blog and the solution to a rediculous problem. As I type this I sip my first cup of BREWED coffee in SEVEN days…all thanks to YOU kind sir! By the way, I checked my receipt and the return time ran out on the day BEFORE the hurrican hit…Murphy’s Law. THANK YOU!!!!

    Reply
  17. Jnet Sep 4, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    I found your blog and now will not have to go out and kill someone
    – I hope the extra 2 cups will MAKE IT STOP!!!

    Reply
  18. Marie Sep 4, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Thanks for the info! I did the same thing – google….nothing….and finally I found your post!
    THANK YOU!

    Reply
  19. Amber Sep 4, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    Not only did you save me from throwing my coffee maker off a bridge, you entertained me. THANK YOU! Mr. Coffee should pay you. Really.

    Reply
  20. ashley rebekah Sep 11, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    a-ha… i googled “mr. coffee clean cycle orange light blinking insanity”, and your blog came up. thank god.

    Reply
  21. Roy Sep 12, 2011 at 7:31 pm

    Thank You!!!

    Your nearly becomming a murderer story was a bit long to read to find the actual solution for our Mr. Coffee continuous-beeper-on problem during its cleaning cycle.

    That said, it took me much less time to read your blog post and physically solve the problem then the time it took to re-read the Mr. Coffee cleaning instructions 6 times to see what I was missing plus reading their “special” online cleaning instructions twice, then checking out fixya and other sites … all to no avail.

    Great post!

    Thanks again for posting the solution.

    Roy

    Reply
  22. Billy Sep 19, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    I sincerely appreciate this post! You, good sir, were in fact my last desperate option before I called Mr. Coffee himself (or apparently herself?). Thank you for this post, I hope it works, I am in serious need of coffee.

    Reply
  23. KML Oct 5, 2011 at 11:40 am

    All I can say is that Mr. Coffee owes you big time. You are a hero to Scout the Sheltland Sheep dog’s sensitive ears. How it’s even possible that this vital piece fo information wasn’t included in the instructions boggles the mind, but as you pointed out what’s even more stunning is that Mr. Coffee doesn’t feel the need to rectify the situation. I, too, love this coffee maker – in all other ways it’s outstanding. Thank you for keeping me from throwing it out the window to silence it.

    Reply
  24. Matt Oct 10, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    Sweet lord almighty, I just ran into this. Thank you for they heads up, as I may have burned my house in protest if this had gone on any longer.

    Reply
  25. Marcia Oct 11, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Wow, what a story. I have a different model (basic w/timer) that I bought recently, and was googling for an answer as to why the “clean” indicator light is still blinking after I cleaned it today. Thankfully, no noise!

    Hmmm. Maybe I just jinxed myself…

    Reply
  26. Kevin M Oct 23, 2011 at 6:11 pm

    omg…. THANK YOU for publishing this info on your blog! I was getting so pissed at my coffee maker. That high-pitched sound is soooooo incredibly grating! I was just about to kill someone too. :D I tried calling Mr. Coffee, but, of course, it’s Sunday today, so I would have had to wait until tomorrow. Who knows what I would have done in that 24 hours….

    Reply
  27. dave Oct 29, 2011 at 11:15 pm

    Thanks a ton. It was really bad!

    Reply
  28. sally Nov 4, 2011 at 5:54 pm

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

    Reply
  29. joy Nov 6, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    Soooo glad that you posted this — funny but very informative :-) I can’t hear the high pitch noise but husband should a started barking hahaha he kept telling me to turn it off … thank you for posting this for the rest of us saps can figure thus out hahaha…

    Reply
  30. Tyra Nov 19, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    Just found your blog….and thank you kindly…on problem though…after reading this I went to add more vinegar to get it to stop beeping…I wasn’t paying attention to how much, just stopped adding when the beeping stopped…then a few minutes later, it started again…so I did the same thing…and again…the horrible beeping! This time…I had the full 2 extra cups….so long story short, add the full 2 extra cups all at one time!
    Thanks again!

    Reply
  31. Kimberly Nov 19, 2011 at 4:46 pm

    Thank you so much for you blog. Not only did you make me laugh but you saved several small animals in my neighborhood as well. I actually had to add more liquid a few times. I eventually ran out of vinegar and starting pouring the contents of the carafe back into the reservoir. No point in not recycling. Thanks again…you saved the day!

    Reply
  32. Melissa Nov 24, 2011 at 8:50 am

    Thank you! This happened to me a year ago and I just unplugged it and contacted Mr. Coffee through their web site e-mail. They sent me a new coffee maker, no questions asked. Well now that coffee maker is doing the same thing and I am going to try the 2more cups solution instead. I can’t believe that they would not include this in their manual and that they would just send out brand new coffeemakers over this. I thought there must be some major known defect!

    Reply
  33. Theresa Nov 25, 2011 at 7:36 pm

    Thank you. I lost 70% of the hearing in my left ear a couple of years ago and was in fear of losing what was left to Mr Coffee. Crazy that the Mr Coffee site does not tell you about this. You are a life saver…well…at least an ear saver.

    Reply
  34. Andrew Nov 29, 2011 at 11:20 am

    Dude…you are A-LIFE-SAVER!!! …and pretty darn funny…lol…

    Reply
  35. Page Dec 1, 2011 at 9:28 am

    Very entertaining and even more helpful! Thank you!

    Reply
  36. rick Dec 8, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    ah-haa…I put black electrical tape over the orange light but the method you’ve described sounds…better.

    Reply
  37. Chris Jan 5, 2012 at 1:41 am

    OMG This can’t be true, but it seems to simple to work! Here is my story, my parents stopped by one day to pick up my family to go on a trip, “let me brew some coffee for the road” I said, and suddenly “BEEEEPPPP”, my family curled into fetal positions on floor while I started to tear up, well I had to have coffee to travel, so me and my father sat on the floor with tools in hand and spent 3 hrs taking it completely apart which btw sounds like an easy task, holy cow, take 3 bolts out to find 3 more, repeat for hours. Well I got it back together (with only a few screws left) and suddenly it worked, I was ready to buy a new one instead of the trip but was happy to have it going again. Moving forward a month, I am a trauma medic in an ER, so I must have my coffee if I expect to help all the people others are trying to kill from their screaming Mr. Coffee. And as I am ready to leave back comes the “BEEEEPPPP”, and yes I had it by the front door getting ready to drive over the thing with my 4×4 but first though I would check online, at first I clicked alllll the complaints and figured great, days without coffee, and more money to spend on a new one and I was definitely NOT going to stay a Mr.Coffee customer. So i read this out load to my wife, we giggled but I still don’t believe, but before it meets Mr.Jacked up Dodge, might as well try it. Just poured in the vinegar and silence! Your kidding me right, that was it???!?

    Reply
    • Paul Jenkins Jan 5, 2012 at 6:31 am

      Funny stuff, Chris. Even crazier is that you don’t even have to use vinegar to make the beeping stop. Good old water will do the trick, too, if you’re in a really bad coffee panic and you don’t have vinegar in the house.

      Reply
  38. George Matthew Cole Jan 17, 2012 at 5:59 pm

    I too was trying to figure out this cleaning deal for my Mr. Coffee. The cleaning light came on for no obvious reason and I wanted to get it off. I downloaded the user guide and tried to follow the directions. It stopped in the middle of the cleaning cycle and beeped though not a high pitched beep as you described. I just added two cups of water and all is good.
    Greatly appreciated.
    George

    Reply
  39. Jenna Jan 19, 2012 at 12:32 pm

    Wow, what a story! And so helpful for the rest of us! In an effort to avoid all that hassle with the vinegar and the additional water, I researched other ways to clean and came across the Full Circle line of cleaners. They work on all different types of machines, are completely biodegradable, odorless and ultra-fast! Here’s a link for anyone looking to simplify their coffee-cleaning experience: http://bit.ly/qOWBDU

    Reply
  40. Treeshh Jan 25, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    Thanks so much for your insightful and hilarious commentary on the BVMC-PSTX91. I just picked one up from a thrift store today and immediately wanted to send it through the clean cycle…but alas the ear piercing, screeching tone was enough to make me rip my eyeballs out! Without your blog I think I might have lost it trying to figure out how to make it stop. Now my machine is well on its way to getting clean.

    Thanks again!

    Reply
  41. gef Jan 29, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    I wanted to put my head through the wall when i heard this noise from my coffee pot. I’m really glad that i stumbled across your post before i threw the thing across the room. I added the 2 cups and it stops. Who doesn’t figure this out while testing the products?!

    Reply
  42. Jessie Jan 30, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    Omgosh, thank you! I, too, almost killed somebody while I was cleaning this coffee maker! WHY don’t they properly explain the procedure??? BTW… is it just my machine that continues to indignantly scream even after I added the additional water? Is she holding a grudge against me for my mistake? If that sound doesn’t stop, she better grow wings….

    Reply
  43. Marg Mar 14, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    Thank you! This happened to me today, that very annoying shrill! I followed your advice and all is good! So happy to have been able to google and find the solution.

    Reply
  44. Kristen Mar 22, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    I share all of this with you and know your pain! Adding a 3 year old to the mix that wanted to immitate said shrieking! I opened my handy dandy instruction manual and the index says “Cleaning and Maintaining your Coffee maker page 16″ So I rushed right on over to page 16 as fast as I could… You can imagine my suprise when I am now finding myself trying to translate the spanish instructions amidst the shrieking coffee maker and now screaming 3 year old! So I too turned to “Google” to help me with the crisis now in hands and in fear that a neighbor was going to call the police thinking I am killing my screaming 3 year old with some kind of shrieking device. By the way english instructions are on page 11. Thank you for your instructions, they were much easier and the laugh has now relieved the headache caused by the coffee maker and screaming child! Cheers!

    Reply
  45. Elizabeth Apr 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    THANK YOU so MUCH for your blog! Not only did it solve our problem of the screaming meeny (which our 12 yo deaf German Shepherd actually alerted to!), but your humor aided my husband and I to regain inner peace. I find it humorous also that your blog was the first thing that popped up when I googled “Mr. Coffee high pitch sound during cleaning”

    Reply

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