And God Said, “Seriously?”

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I freely admit that I like to poke fun at things that seem unbelievably dumb, but when it comes to Christianity and what believers do in an attempt to live out their faith, I try to show restraint because I don’t know their hearts and motives. Trust me, this can be difficult at times because there seems to be A LOT of material out there. Perhaps no group has done more stupid stuff than Christians, and just when you think you have heard it all, you live another day and realize that someone topped what you’d heard the day before.

 

I say all that because I heard something on the radio yesterday that blew my mind, and I knew instantly that I would have to write about it. Wait, I didn’t say that quite right. What I heard yesterday on the national radio station, K-LOVE, literally, absolutely, and in every other -ly way…BLEW. MY. MIND. I don’t want to come across like a jerk, but at the same time I know that if I don’t say something about it I’ll spontaneously combust. Since the B99 doesn’t need her time taken up with cleaning me off the monitor, I guess I’ll go ahead and try to be as gracious as I can.

Apparently there is a new movement in American Christianity called the “Three Throw.” You read that right. From the faith that brought you such great evangelism tools as W.W.J.D., F.R.O.G., D.O.G., and my personal favorite, the B.A.T.B.B.L.D.A.M.T.G.B.S.T.T.E.A.T.F.W.K.H.M.J.L.T. (“Boycott all the bad businesses like Disney and make them go bankrupt so that the employees and their families will know how much Jesus loves them”), comes the next great idea that will transform this world into the perfect place we all crave: the “Three Throw.”

The idea behind the “Three Throw” comes straight from their website (really, I couldn’t make this stuff up):

The “Trinity” 3 finger hand gesture is the first unmistakable Christian communication tool that can instantly connect believers when spoken Christian fellowship is impossible to achieve.

There are almost 2 Billion Christians on the planet. We think it’s WAY past time Christians had at least ONE simple and clearly-defined hand gesture to make this fellowship happen! Three Throw a REAL “Peace” sign!

As if it can’t get any worse, they kept writing more stuff on their site, only this time making sure to use Scripture to validate the new symbol and help people feel better about buying the t-shirts, hats, and static clings available on the site. Perhaps someday they will offer the “Three Throw Snuggie.” Stay tuned.

“For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” – Jesus Christ, Matthew 18:20

“Church” is where two or more Christians are gathered together, in any place, if only for a few seconds, to worship God.

The cross, fish, and dove often seen on cars and other vehicles are great expressions of Christian faith. The Trinity hand sign adds the invitation for Christians to connect and fellowship with each other and, quite literally, have: “Church in Traffic”!

As well as traffic, the Trinity hand gesture can be used in many other places where spoken fellowship simply can’t exist. Some examples are loud and crowded sporting events, concerts, schools, churches, rallies, and photographs.

Oh, the number of things that scream “STUPID!” in that simple block of text. First, I can’t imagine Jesus envisioning a three-finger gesture when He spoke the words quoted. Second, to equate this with the fish or other Christian symbol is a bit presumptuous (more on this below). Finally, as my good friend, Matt, pointed out, I’m surprised to see in that last paragraph that churches are listed as one of the places where spoken fellowship simply can’t exist. I’ve got to try giving a “Three Throw” across the sanctuary next Sunday, preferably during a loud song when speaking becomes more difficult.

Want more? Why not listen to the interview they did on K-LOVE with the head Three Thrower?

Now, to wrap this up on a serious note. Again, let me be clear that I don’t want to mock what could be a very sincere action by another Christian, but I struggle with this on so many levels:

• The attempted similarities to the Christian fish (called an Ichthus) is way off. A simple study of the history behind the Christian fish will reveal that it was used to protect the early Christians from detection which would have surely resulted in persecution and/or death, which is not something we’re facing here, and even when we do, I’m not looking to throw the three your way. I’m pretty sure at that point I’ll not be drawing attention to you or me with a “Three Throw” embroidered hat.
• This is probably just a personal deal, but I have a hard time with this like I do Christian business directories. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to know where the Christians are, but how long until we’re only using the Christian businesses and only talking to the people who return our “Three Throw?” It feels like it segregates us from the people who need what we have the most.
• Jesus actually said that there was a sign that would be proof-positive to the world that we were His disciples. What was it? I’ll give you a hint…it’s in John 13:35 and it doesn’t involve your fingers.
• It just looks dorky. (I’m sorry, but it had to be said. I was getting ready to combust on the computer screen.) I mean really, are you going to stick your hand out of your car window at 65 mph to “Three Throw” someone on the other side of the interstate? Are you going to “throw the three” across the produce aisle in the grocery store? I doubt it.

I think this is one of those times when God looks down on His church and says, “Seriously? I gave everything – including My Son – in order to bring those who were far away, near to Me again, and this is your plan? A cling for a buck?” How would you react if your gesture of out-stretched arms to a dying world had been reduced to an exclusive, insider three-fingered salute among those who already had life? Yeah, I think “seriously” comes pretty darn close.

Maybe instead of spending so much time and effort trying to come up with ways to identify those who are like us, we should do what God did and go to great lengths to come near to those who aren’t? Maybe we should find a gesture that would help us do that, and I think I just might have one. It’s as simple as reaching out.

If you need me to, I can even make t-shirts for you to wear when you use it.

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