Worship is a powerful thing, and most of us are doing well to worship in the best of times.

But the power that shakes off chains and breaks open doors only follows worship offered in the middle of the dark seasons of the soul.

Now about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns of praise to God, and the prisoners were listening to them… (‭‭Acts‬ ‭16:25‬ ‭NASB, emphasis mine)

By the end of that story, all the prisoners were set free, and the jailor was saved. It happened because Paul and Silas worshipped in the middle of the night in a way that others could witness.

The temptation during dark seasons of the soul is to pull the blinds and hide, but it is precisely in those dark seasons that the light of God’s grace shines so powerfully through those who simply refuse to stop praising Him.

Photo by Adrian Dascal on Unsplash

At the end of Luke 9, Jesus offers 3 men the opportunity to follow Him, and all three said yes.

Kind of.

One seemed to have a problem with the less luxurious life he would experience by following.

Another wanted to stay close to home until his father was buried. (Quick history lesson: this didn’t mean his father was dead, only that he would follow after his father died and was buried, which could have been years later)

The third wanted to tell his family goodbye before going with Jesus.

Honestly, none of these seem off the charts bad as far as reasons go, and yet Jesus responds in a way that lets us know that He knew they weren’t reasons as much as excuses.

But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” (‭‭Luke‬ ‭9:62‬ ‭NLT, emphasis mine)

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a place to sleep, or with loving your father, or with wanting to say goodbye to the people you love. But what Jesus was challenging was the affection of the heart because affection determines direction.

We don’t use many farming analogies anymore, but Jesus told these men something that everyone knew in that day: you can’t plow straight lines looking backward, and if you’re thinking about what you left more than you’re thinking about Who you left it for, then you won’t be any good to the work God is calling you to.

In our world, it would be like trying to drive a car forward while constantly looking in the rearview mirror. Not impossible, but not very effective (or safe for anyone else on the road!).

The direction of our lives is driven by our affections, and if we want to plow straight lines, we have to be convinced that nothing in this world is as valuable as the King Who has called us to push our chips to the center of the table and follow Him wherever He goes.

I woke up this morning, and the first thought I had was, “No one on this earth truly knows my history.”

It’s an odd thing to think, and doesn’t really make sense until you’ve lost both of your parents. But when there is no one to call who remembers your earliest days, it overwhelms you with emotions that are hard to accurately describe.

I’m thankful for so many things about my Abba Father, but one that fills me with gratitude is His loving attention: to me as I grieve, and to the tender application of His word to my wounds.

As the emotions began to make the walls close in, He took me to Psalm 139.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. (‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:15-16‬ ‭NLT, emphasis mine)

“I know your history, Paul. I was there before anyone on this earth even began counting your days. Ask Me, and I’ll show you the book. Not one moment of your life — past, present, or future — escapes My watchful eye.”

Thank You, Abba.