Canceling shame

We live in what many have called a “cancel culture.” In other words, when someone famous says or does something that culture deems offensive or unpopular (or has something offensive from his or her past brought to light), that person is called out and/or boycotted on social media. In other words, they are canceled.

Usually, the cancel culture is associated with a person, but today, I’d like to take a few minutes to call out shame and help you learn how to cancel it.

Maybe a good place to start would be to understand what shame is and how shame operates. Shame is personal. It hits us at our core and is always about our identity. Many people confuse guilt with shame, but guilt is a gift that allows us to correct behavior while shame is a curse that destroys correct beliefs. We feel guilt over what we’ve done, but we feel shame about who we are. When we get this mixed up, we find ourselves in a vicious cycle listening to a defeating playlist of lies.

“I’m so stupid.”
“I’m a loser.”
“I’m a failure.”

We say these things whenever we’ve done something stupid, lost something, or failed at something. We take what has happened and turn it into a judgment about ourselves. If we’re going to call out shame, it’s vital that we understand how insidious it is. Shame takes what we’ve done and uses it to attack who we are.

If we’re going to cancel shame, we’ve got to learn how to separate our identity from our activity. We may do stupid things but that doesn’t make us stupid people. If we give it everything we’ve got in an endeavor and come up short, we lost but we aren’t losers.

I love football and in football, there is a penalty called “piling on” that isn’t called often but is a great illustration of shame. It’s basically what is called whenever a player is down and defenders keep jumping onto him. Isn’t that exactly what shame does? It hits us when we’re down with one lie after another. It never stops at “I’m so stupid” does it? It always adds more and more shame to the pile.

“I’m so stupid.”
“I’ll never get it right.”
“Who could ever love someone like me?”
“I’m a horrible person.”
“I only cause pain.”
“What’s the point of trying?”
“I’m out.”

See how shame operates? And the worst part about it is that it can all be avoided by simply canceling shame before it ever starts. How do we do that? We cancel shame with the truth about what we’ve done and who we are.

Shame can only operate in the shadows of our fears, but when we bring those fears to light they lose their power (that’s why scary movies aren’t as scary at 1 pm as they are at 1 am!). See, truth does the opposite of shame. Truth takes who we are and uses it to attack what we’ve done. (“That wasn’t the best choice. That’s not who I am. I can do better than that!”) We do all of this with God’s word because nothing is truer than what God has said.

Instead of shame and dishonor,
you will enjoy a double share of honor.
You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land,
and everlasting joy will be yours.

Isaiah 61:7 NLT

That powerful promise was fulfilled at the cross when Jesus took shame on Himself in order to lift it from us.

Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:2 ESV

What does that mean for us? It means that canceling shame begins with partnering with the truth about who God says about us. Yes, we were sinners. And now, because of what Jesus did, we are saints. Maybe not perfect (yet!), but our identity has changed. So when shame attacks who we are by reminding us of who we were, we remind ourselves of what Jesus did at the cross for us.

For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”

Romans 10:11 ESV

So the next time the enemy whispers lies about who you are and what you’ve done, declare these 4 quick and powerful truths to help you cancel shame.

God is who He says He is.
God will do what He said He will do.
I am who God says I am.
I can do what God says I can do.

Want some more shame-canceling truths and declarations? You can find them here.

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