Allow me, if I may, to vent (or, as my sister said, to “Venti” since this is about Starbucks).

There are times when the sheer stupidity of things can almost drive me over the edge, and this past Sunday as my family visited a Starbucks in Salisbury, North Carolina, was one of those times.  It started out innocently enough – standing in line, ordering, enjoying the awesome (even if they are overpriced) beverages that our family has come to love.

And then, with one seemingly simple picture, it changed.  After taking the picture above of my children with my dad, one of the baristas came over and told me and my sister (she was taking pictures, too) that we couldn’t take pictures in the store.

Caught a little off guard (you should see the blurry picture my sister took when she jumped as she got in trouble!), we put the phones away and went back to the beverages.  I lasted about 30 seconds before the absurdity of what I’d been told sunk in, so I went back to the counter for a follow-up.

Here’s the picture I snapped with my kids OUTSIDE the Starbucks (since we couldn’t take it inside)

“So….”

(I drew that first word out just long enough to really get their attention.)

“…just to clarify, you’re telling me that I can’t take pictures of my kids…with my dad…on Father’s Day?”

“Yes. It’s a corporate policy.  You can’t take pictures in the store because you might get artwork and stuff in the background.”

“Oh.  Well, then is it cool if I just take the pictures facing the front of the store?  That way I’ll just get the parking lot and trees in the background.”

“No.”

Since that day, I’ve had the chance to look up the corporate policy and have found – mostly through this post – that the barista could not have been more wrong.  For now, just know that as we stood there sipping our beverages and trying to think of any reason why that made sense, we couldn’t come up with one.

In a culture where selfies rule and food and beverage pics run a close second, Starbucks DOESN’T want the free marketing that comes from social media posts?

In a world where imitation is the best form of flattery, Starbucks DOESN’T want people to be so impressed with their environment that they want to post pictures of it?

In a marketplace where families can choose to spend their entertainment dollars anywhere they choose, Starbucks DOESN’T want to make it easy for those families to choose them?

Listen, my world didn’t come to an end over this, and venting about stuff like this is sure to get me a “firstworldproblems” hashtag somewhere in the comments section, but our family left that Starbucks feeling like they made something hard that didn’t have to be.  And without trying to spiritualize the whole experience too much, it sort of reminded me of a dilemma that the early church once faced.

As the gospel started spreading across the world, lots of people who were very different from each other started responding to it, and the folks in the mother land of Jerusalem were feeling a little protective of “their” religion.  You know, sort of how the barista felt about that artwork that’s partially seen in the picture that almost got us the boot at Starbucks.

In order to keep some kind of order and control, these guys got together to discuss it, and as they were on the verge of setting up all kinds of harsh policies that would be especially painful to the men (you can read about it for yourself in Acts 15), one extremely wise man named James stood up and said this:

It is my judgement, therefore, that we should not make it difficult for the Gentiles who are turning to God.” (Acts 15:19, emphasis added)

I love the way Andy Stanley says it about his church: “We don’t have policies as much as we have conversations.”

Whether it’s corporate like Starbucks or religious like churches, we have a tendency to make sweeping policies that, more times than not, sweep away the very people we’re targeting.  We make the people serve the policy instead of allowing conversations to open the door for us to serve the people, and the end result is frustration instead of freedom.

I wish I could say that our church at The Gathering is leading the way in not making it difficult for people who are turning to God, but I’m sure there are plenty of times that we have failed and will fail.  We are, however, committed to failing forward, because we value people more than policies, procedures and programs.

And when we don’t make it difficult for people to turn to God, we make it a lot easier for people to find the grace we all need in order to live for God.

– – – – – – – – – –

How about you?  What are some ways that churches and/or businesses make things more difficult than they should be?  Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

A couple of months ago, I spent the better part of 2 days on the road traveling across the central and western parts of North Carolina, and that means I saw a TON of billboards.  Those things are EVERYWHERE and most of them have a picture of a WOMAN on them. Ever wonder why?

It isn’t because the advertisers have a bias toward females (although they may), and it definitely isn’t because they’re advertising stuff that females want.  It’s because the people paying the money to fund the ads know that the best way to secure revenue is to throw sexual images on a billboard because, while the actual product being advertised may not get the male driver’s attention, that woman probably will.

And it isn’t just billboards.  Lately every Hardee’s commercial is less about the food and more and more just some girl’s 30-second audition tape for a career in soft-porn.  From NFL cheerleaders to swimsuit editions, sex sells.  Sure, we protest most of it while we watch it (“Man, can you believe how little she’s wearing?” or “Victoria’s Secret should NOT have a prime-time special.  Good thing my kids are in bed.  They’re way too young to see this!”), but it’s not going to change anything for one simple reason:

Too many men are worshiping their penis.

I’m sure there’s a nicer way to say it, but maybe it’s time to just be brutally honest.  Maybe it’s time to stop blushing about a problem that has grown into an epidemic.

Did you know that the porn industry rakes in more revenue every year than the major professional sports leagues COMBINED?

Did you know that the average age of a guy’s first exposure (pun intended) to porn is ELEVEN?

Did you know that 1 in 3 PASTORS are actively viewing this stuff?

Epidemic.

It all starts out so innocently, doesn’t it?  A Hooters billboard here, a Hardee’s commercial there, and before you know it, you’re ticked at your wife or girlfriend because she doesn’t look nearly as good as the last AIRBRUSHED and FAKE PICTURE of a woman you looked at while you worshiped at the altar of your pleasure.

At some point, especially for you GUYS THAT LOVE JESUS, this insanity has got to stop.

There’s a verse in the Bible that comes to mind whenever I think about the pervasiveness of porn and the apparent inability of Christian men to bring it under control.

If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. (Matthew 5:29)

“Are you serious?  You want me to cut off what??”

Relax, men. I don’t think the point of that verse is castration, but I do think that there’s something extremely important that Jesus was trying to get across.

What captivates you?

What consumes your time, your money, your attention?  What so moves you that it motivates you to look harder, look longer, and look no matter what the cost?  Whatever your answer is to those questions is what you’re worshiping.

The answer, of course, for Christ-followers, should be Jesus, and for MALE Christ-followers, it better be.  If Jesus isn’t consuming us, we’ll never be able to look at our wives, girlfriends or girl friends with the eyes of heaven because our eyes will be clouded by the manipulated images of man.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, especially if you’re a church-going male.  You’re thinking it isn’t that big of a deal and that if I was a “real” pastor I wouldn’t even write something like this.  That’s like me saying if you were a “real” Christian you wouldn’t struggle with this.  But the truth is that Jesus spoke about it because He knew that purity in this area was something that would be a real struggle for real men who really love Him.

Did you notice that the amputation verse is smack-dab in the middle of Jesus’ teaching about lust and adultery?  Did you catch the connection between the eyes and the heart? Jesus told the men of His day what advertisers of our day already know: the eyes capture what eventually captures the heart.  That’s why the top 100 advertisers in the United States spent over 100 BILLION DOLLARS last year alone.  It’s because they know that IF YOU LOOK AT SOMETHING LONG ENOUGH, EVENTUALLY YOU’LL END UP LOVING IT.

We don’t want that to be true.  We want to believe that if we just love Jesus enough, it will all go away.  Yeah, and how’s that working for you?  Not only is the issue not going away, but it’s getting worse, and so it’s time for Jesus men to MAN UP and LOOK UP.

It’s time for Jesus men to take seriously the wisdom that David wrote about after his eyes almost cost him a kingdom.

I will set before my eyes no vile thing.  The deeds of faithless men I hate; they will not cling to me. (Psalm 101:3)

David learned the truth he wrote about after a forbidden peep show led to murder (you can read it for yourself starting in 2 Samuel 11).  David didn’t wake up one morning and put “being a murderer” on his bucket list anymore than you woke up this morning hoping to be an unfaithful husband to your current (or future) wife.  It never ends as small as it begins, and according to Jesus and David, it begins with a distant gaze that grows into a consuming blaze.

The question, then, is what will we look at and what will consume us?

For some men, the answers will be tragic.  They will choose to place worthless things in front of their eyes through screens of all shapes and sizes that will spark a wildfire that will burn and never be satisfied.  In its wake will be broken families, trafficked women and bankrupted souls.

But for others – for the Jesus men who recognize the fight and refuse to shy away from it – the answers will be transforming.  Everyday we will live out the truth of Hebrews 12 that begins with our eyes fixed on Jesus and ends with our hearts worshiping a God Who is a consuming fire.  In our wake will be a generation who knows more freedom than failure and lives more as victors than victims.

Will it be easy?  No.  Swimming against the current of culture never is.

Will there be mistakes?  Yes.  No war was ever won without lost battles along the way.

Will we win?  Every single time we choose to keep fighting.

**********

If you’re choosing to fight, let me leave you with a few practical steps that can help you as you do.

ONE, tell somebody.  I love James 5:16…”confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”  There is tremendous strength in honesty.  I love how Tyler – one of our elders at The Gathering – says it: “Porn is such a big secret for most because of the shame it brings.  To nail it to the cross requires one to be completely open, completely honest and submitting to godly leaders that hold you accountable. It’s not easy denying yourself by yourself.”  That last comment is why the second step is so important.

TWO, find community.  This almost needs to go hand in hand with number one because accountability is nothing without community.  At The Gathering where I pastor, we’re working hard to create a community where people are encouraged to grow in grace.  You’ve got to have people in your corner who understand that grace takes time and grace gives time.  That’s so important when we’re fighting sin because some days are better than others. Community reminds us that the grace of Jesus doesn’t change with our wins and losses.

THREE, go public.  No, I don’t mean tell the whole world.  I just mean move your computer to a family room and/or get a filter for your browser or device that alerts others about what you’re viewing.  The folks over at XXXChurch can probably come in handy here.

Those are just three that come to mind, but I’m sure you’ve got some, too.  Feel free to share them in the comment section below.

Every now and then, culture and faith collide in such a way that it gives the church an opportunity to really stand out and show how following Jesus makes us different.  Sometimes we step up to the plate and knock it out of the park, and sometimes we strike out swinging.

Over the last week, I’m afraid we haven’t even swung.

Two events happened almost simultaneously that got a lot of media attention.  In a span of about 24 hours, Dan Haseltine – the lead singer for the Christian band, Jars of Clay – made some unexpected comments about same-sex marriage and the Bible, and Donald Sterling – the owner of the Los Angeles Clippers (and possibly the most hated owner of all time) – made some racist comments to his girlfriend that she made sure everyone heard.

And then, the world blew up.

Granted, it probably should have, because much of what was said was like a bomb.  It’s not my position that Donald Sterling said anything privately that he hasn’t been known for publicly.  His racist and prejudicial beliefs have been pretty well documented over the years.  And as far as the comments by Haseltine about same-sex marriages and the authority of Scripture?  Well, when the prominent front man for a respected Christian band hints at not caring what the Bible says, that’s as close to Twitter napalm as you’re gonna get.

What really got my attention wasn’t so much what was said (even though it raised some eyebrows), but what happened after what was said. From professional media to bloggers in the basement, people grabbed the keys, fired up the busses and proceeded to throw Don and Dan under them.  And before you start to do the same to me, let me say one more time: I’m not advocating that they shouldn’t be under the bus, but consider for a moment the following statement.

In a drive-by culture, assassination is valued more highly than conversation.

Let me take a minute and unpack that sentence, and then let me tell you why I think it matters.

First, our culture has grown increasingly into what I call a “drive-by” culture.  I’m not speaking about guns and drug thugs, but of talking heads and the way we’ve learned to handle conflict.  There was a day when people could disagree and actually talk about it, but those days are quickly going the way of the dinosaur.  Now it’s a roomful of “experts” spouting opinions and debating with no resolution.  It’s a 140-character missile launch of explosives but no follow-up, a comment on Facebook or a blog without sticking around to answer reasonable arguments to the contrary.

In short, it’s immature people making points when mature people would offer thoughts.  A drive-by culture offers sound bites that bite.  And trust me, it’s an epidemic that isn’t contained to your TV.  People you love and care for – friends, family, coworkers – routinely spout venom and then shrink away before anyone can call them on it.

And that’s why, in their minds, assassination is so much better than conversation.  Assassination kills.  It ends the matter and allows the person with the biggest gun or the last shot to escape without any accountability.  The basement blogger can launch social grenades from a distance and never have to get his hands dirty.  But conversation?  That’s a lot tougher, because conversations require grace, and patience, and a willingness to kill the pride that makes us want to be right.

Not surprisingly, that last sentence sounds a lot like God, doesn’t it?  Of course, God doesn’t have pride like we do, but Jesus proved that God isn’t content to stand off like a snob and simply launch a tirade against us.  In fact, the Bible paints the picture of a God who COULD have assassinated us, maybe even SHOULD have, but instead CHOOSES to have a conversation with us about our sin.

“Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” (Isaiah 1:18)

I love that and hate that all at the same time.  I love the fact that God chose to “reason” with me about my sin when He could have just thrown me under the bus, but I hate the fact that His willingness to do so now becomes a reasonable expectation of me towards others, and that’s where I feel that the church has struck out looking when she had the chance to get on base.

I’m not surprised at the backlash toward Sterling.  In fact, I expected nothing less.  I am not a follower of Christ who expects anybody who isn’t following Christ to act as if he or she is.  But I don’t have the option of assassinating the man, because, in His mercy, God sent Jesus to talk with me when He could have kept His distance and just condemned me.  “To whom much is given, much is required.” (Luke 12:48)

What we learned with Donald Sterling is that the world handles hard things with drive-bys and assassinations.  What we SHOULD have learned with Dan Haseltine is that the church handles hard things differently.

But we didn’t.

Almost before you could say “heretic,” the web was filled with posts from fellow believers (I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt) about how the frontman from Jars of Clay had embraced gay marriage and kissed evangelical Christianity good-bye.  Admittedly, when I first read the tweets, I thought about posting, too, but decided to wait, thankfully.  Within a day, Haseltine had posted on his own blog clarifying a lot of what he had said and giving the context behind it.  Of course, when I went back to see how many of the bus drivers from earlier had posted updates with this new information, I found none (in the days since, there have been some updates).

Instead, I found page after page of Google results littered with the casings from the smoking guns held by Christian assassins who were too quick to shoot and too slow to reason.  Sadly, that makes the church a little too much like the world and little too less like the God who calls us to reason, consider, and talk together about hard things.

Conversations don’t ignore the facts, and they don’t bypass consequences. In fact, over the next 2 verses of Isaiah 1, God included in the conversation the positive and negative consequences that await us when the talking is over and the doing begins.  What conversations do accomplish is the opening of a heart, a mind and a life to the possibility of redemption.  They allow the church to point those deserving the worst to a Savior who became the worst in their place.

So could we please, as Christ followers in a drive-by world, put down our guns and pick up the cross, and live in such a way that we talk about Jesus, point people to Jesus, and always remember the grace of Jesus that saved us when He had every right to gun us down?

That is a conversation worth having.