If you follow my blog, then you know 2 things: one, I post every Thursday, and two, I write mostly as an exercise to get better as a writer.  That means that I’m not necessarily writing anything for you or anyone else to read as much as I’m writing for an audience of One (but I’m glad you do and it’s a bonus to see people like, share, retweet and comment on the things I post).

But today is different.  This morning I woke up feeling strongly that I needed to dust off an almost 30-year old poem that I wrote sitting in the Student Center on the campus of Pfeiffer University (which was Pfeiffer College when I was there) back in 1985.  It was a time in my life when I felt oppressed by the burden of big dreams in a small town.  I felt the pressure of the burdens that so many people I loved were carrying along with the ones of my own.

And most of all, I felt like I was failing God because – as much as I loved Jesus – it seemed like my spiritual journey was a struggle that often felt more like retreat than victory.  Every been there?  Are you there now?

I don’t know what you do in those times, but I tend to write, and so, right there in the Knapp Sac snack bar, I started to put the following words on a blank page in the back of my Bible.  What you’re about to read happened in a minute, but it changed my attitude about struggles and victory for a lifetime.

My prayer for you today – whoever you are, wherever you are and whatever you’re facing – is that you would find peace and value in the fight and know that nothing you’ve faced in this life, no amount of pain or disappointment, has been or will be wasted by God.  As another Paul wrote long before I wrote what I did,

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! (2 Corinthians 4:17, NLT)

If what I wrote encourages you as well, how about leaving a comment and letting me know how God used it to help you?  And take the time to share it, too, because neither you nor I know who needs to read this, and the 10 seconds it takes you to share it on Facebook and Twitter could be all it takes for someone who is in the middle of a battle to remember that God sees them right where they are, and Who, “in Christ always leads us in triumph.” (2 Corinthians 2:14, ESV)

HOMECOMING

Everyone in heaven watched
As he staggered to the throne.
Another warrior –
Bruised and beaten –
Who was finally coming home.

He looked around and quickly noticed
That he wasn’t quite the same
As all the others
Who were there
And he could feel their puzzled stares.

He looked at God and then he knew
Why he was different from the rest:
Their armor shone,
But his was worn.
He bowed his head – he was alone.

He thought of all the other warriors
And of how well they must have fought
The fires of life
To still come through
With armor shining as if new.

He then glanced at himself in shame
And wondered where he had gone wrong?
His sword was nicked,
His shield was bent
And his soldier’s suit was dull.

And then God, knowing all his thoughts,
Reached down in love and picked him up.
“Your armor’s dull
Because you fought.
Their armor’s shiny ’cause they did not.”

And then God placed him by the throne
And told the warrior he was home.
The soldier smiled –
Then God reached down –
And placed upon his head a crown.

© 1985 Paul Jenkins. All rights reserved.

Instead of setting goals to start trying to achieve at the beginning of the new year, this year I’m choosing to think through the type of person I’d like to be at the end of the new year.

On December 31, 2014, I will be….

1) More like Jesus.  This sounds pretty arrogant, but only if I expect to achieve this by reading the Bible more, praying more and going to church more.  Sure, I’ll more than likely do all of that, but I’ll look more like Jesus because I’m promised in Scripture that as I see Him, I’ll be more like Him (2 Corinthians 3:18; Romans 8:29).  That’s the Holy Spirit’s job, and I’m pretty sure He can handle it.  My prayer is simply to see Jesus like the shepherds did (Luke 2:17), and the rest (looking like Him, telling others about Him, etc.) will take care of itself.

2) Farther down the road.  Literally, because I run.  I’m not running to be a runner, but to be healthier. Sometimes goals can get in the way of being healthier, and I’m in this running thing for (pardon the pun) the long run.  Do I have a mileage amount in mind for 2014?  Sure.  It’s 2014.  To keep myself focused more on health instead of achievement, I’m not even going to worry about time or pace.  I’m just gonna run like Forrest Gump.  Slower, steadier, and healthier.

3) Smarter than I am now.  Not just because I’m hoping to get through (either by reading or listening – but I still prefer formats that allow me to HIGHLIGHT) one book a week, but because I’m going to actually think about how to apply what I learn.  That’s the true measure.  And if I’m applying what I’m learning, then I’ll be writing a lot more, too.  And that means that on December 31, 2014, I’ll have probably shared a lot of what I’ve learned with you on this blog and in a book.  But I don’t want to write tens of thousands of words if I don’t have something to say, and learning – and applying what I learn – will allow the sharing to be much more natural.

4) Closer to the people that matter. I made a decision during the old year to be present in the moment, and I’m going to be intentional about carrying that into the new one.  It means that the next conversation isn’t more important than the current conversation.  It mean that technology – while pretty darn impressive – isn’t more important than people, and is only useful if it helps me be closer to people.  One thing I’ve done for over a year now is to turn my iPhone screen-side down during conversations.  It keeps my ADHD from getting the best of me when the screen lights up, and that helps me stay in the moments that matter.

And perhaps the most important of all is the last one. On December 31, 2014, I will be…

5) Successful at all of the things I listed above.  Not because I set the right goals and accomplished them (maybe I will, maybe I won’t), but because I chose the right results and moved closer to them.  In the end, being further down the road and HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION is what makes any of us successful.

So choose your destination wisely, because achieving things won’t matter if you end up farther away from where – and who – you want to be.

Have a happy – and healthy – new year!

John 1:5 is one of my favorite verses, and it becomes even more significant on these December days when EVERYONE loves light and light is EVERYWHERE.  In fact, our family can’t go anywhere after dark during the holiday season without playing the Christmas light game.  One side of the car counts the lights they see on their side, and the other side, vice versa.

This game is much more fun to play at night because light is harder to see in the, well, light.  This is something that seems so obvious, but we tend to forget it when we go through exceptionally dark times.  We begin to feel like the place we are is too far for even God’s light to find us.  But the fundamental truth about light is that it actually uses the darkness around it to draw our focus to it.

I learned this during one of the worst seasons of my life, and it was then that I think I really started to get to know Jesus.  He is the Light of the world, and even on our darkest days, the darkness CANNOT OVERCOME HIM.

I guess you could say that the day I met Jesus was the worst day of my life.

Here is another excerpt from the book that I know is beginning to well up from the deep places of my soul.  I pray that what I learned on my darkest days will shine light on you when you face your darkest days, too.

Light shines in darkness.  In fact, most of us wouldn’t know what light is if we hadn’t first been in some pretty dark places.  The beginning of all that we know was a place of darkness, and then God brought light.  When our ancestor, Adam, brought darkness back into the world by doing the unthinkable – choosing momentary pleasure over eternal peace – God brought light into the world again.  To be more specific, he sent light into the world, and John’s description of that act was that light shone in the darkness, and the darkness couldn’t overcome it.

Isn’t that how light is?  It is brighter and more brilliant when the setting is the darkest.  It is more appreciated, too.  How many times have we stumbled in the darkness at night, groping along the wall for the switch and been relieved to finally find it?  We hate darkness so much that we eventually memorize the steps necessary to get to the switch the next time.

And so it is with worst days. They are the backdrop to what can become our best days, because light shines in the darkness, and the darkness cannot overcome it.  God intends to step into our worst days and bring light from them.  Understand this: God sent the light into the darkness because that’s where the light needs to shine the most.  It is on our worst days that we finally see the Light of the world.

The fact that he stays with us then and there – on our darkest and worst days – is what makes the gospel good news.