In a culture of outrage, mobs are too easily formed, and sometimes, lives are too easily damaged. That was my first thought as I read an article in the New York Times about the infamous “Victoria’s Secret Karen” video that went viral a couple of years ago.

I’m not going to take the time to educate you about the meme culture that labels certain white women as “Karens” along with videos of their behavior. That’s what Google is for. I also won’t recap the entire story about the incident that happened in the New Jersey Victoria’s Secret. That’s what this link is for.

It is important to note that the woman who was videoed and outed as a whining, aggressive Karen that day, is actually a legally disabled woman with a long history of medical and psychological conditions. Instead of being upset with a black woman for bothering her, she was afraid that a posted video would cause her to be kicked out of her apartment in a complex reserved for residents with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

Clearly, there are times when racist behavior needs to be brought to light, and I’m thankful that so many of us carry the means to do that with us everywhere we go. There are so many positives that come out of holding people accountable for their actions.

But what happens when we rush to judgment? When, instead of being slow to anger, we’re quick to post? Lives that need our help become targets of our outrage, and, I would argue, everyone loses.

My brother lived with disabilities. I minister regularly to adults living with disabilities. And while the woman who recorded the video, posted the video, and earned money from the video, had no way of knowing the mental and emotional state of the woman she was filming, she does now. And so does the virtual mob that added harassing calls and death threats to the mix.

I don’t know what the answer is in the specific case of the Victoria’s Secret Karen. I’d like to think the lawsuit against the disabled woman would be dropped by the woman who was attacked now that she knows the rest of the story, but that’s for the lawyers to work out.

But we can – and I would argue, as apprentices of Jesus, must – learn the lessons of scripture, and the value of slowing down the viral toxicity by being people of peace.

“A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but one slow to anger calms strife.” (‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭15‬:‭18‬ ‭CSB, emphasis mine)

“My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger,” (James‬ ‭1‬:‭19‬ ‭CSB, emphasis mine)

Today, let’s practice the slow things that bring peace more than the quick things that destroy it.

Lately, I’ve been at a loss for words.

It isn’t from writer’s block, but more of a “I’ve got a million thoughts in my head, but don’t know how to get any of them out” thing. Clarity one minute, and a fog the next.

Ever been there? Maybe it’s because I’m processing what God just did during our church’s ENCOUNTER 23 event, but I think it’s even deeper than that. I think (you’ll notice I’m using that word a lot) that this is actually what it’s like to follow the ways of Jesus in a world that isn’t.

This is part of what it looks like to grow up in our faith. Many of us have believed the lie that a mature faith is one that knows more about the faith, but a better definition would be one that trusts more in the Father of the faith.

Trust implies not fully understanding, and that’s something that a lot of us can struggle with. Look at what Paul wrote to the believers in Corinth:

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. (‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭11‬-‭12‬, emphasis mine)

Clearly, Paul is explaining a growth process in our faith that mirrors how we mature in the natural. We grow up and stop talking and thinking like children. But then he tells us what we can expect now versus what we’ll experience later.

Now I see partially; then I’ll see the full. Now I know parts; then I’ll know fully.

But look at the last phrase…

“Even as I am fully known.”

In this world that so often feels like walking through the fog toward a destination we’ve never really seen, it’s possible to be fully known. But it isn’t possible to know God fully. Here we can only know in part, even though here we can be fully known.

Why does that matter? It matters because too many times we waste a lot of energy and effort chasing some revelation of God that will answer all of our questions about God, only to be disappointed again when we see Him “through a glass dimly” (1 Cor. 13:12 KJV).

We wonder where we missed it. We think others have received it. We question our ability to see it. But Paul’s words should set us free from that unnecessary struggle! Joy in this life doesn’t come from knowing everything about God, but from accepting that we are fully known by God, and trusting that nothing He learns about us will separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39).

Someday, we will see Him as He is, but for now, in the shadowlands, we have moments – we could call them glimpses of glory – when the fog lifts, and we see as much of Him as we can handle. This is why revival affects people in such a wide variety of ways; some can handle more of His glory than others.

I played a commercial at the end of the message I preached at church yesterday. A commercial from a grocery store chain that explains so beautifully how God graciously watches over us, takes care of us, and provides for us even when we don’t fully recognize Who He is.

As you watch it, would you do two things? One, grab some tissues because you’re probably going to need them. And two, ask God to help you see Him as He is; not just as a holy God who saved you from death, but as a Father who wants to walk with you as you live.

Photo by Jakub Kriz on Unsplash

Personal happiness has become an idol.

There. I said it.

That’s not a popular take, and it’s one that can easily be misunderstood, but at the end of the day, I sincerely believe that the American brand of Christianity has made an idol out of personal happiness.

Let me be clear. This doesn’t mean the Lord wants you and me to be miserable. I say this because stoicism is making a comeback, and if we aren’t careful, we’ll swing all the way to the other extreme of joyless endurance of hard things; never smiling, and never celebrating the good things God has done.

If that last sentence describes you or your church, perhaps you or your church have made an idol out of pain and misery, and if so, I’d recommend reading what I wrote about that a few months ago.

My point here, though, is that anything that controls us becomes our god, and if our lives aren’t being led by Yahweh, then we’ve put something else in His place.

That something else is what we call an idol, and a simple glance at the lives of many in the American church will reveal that personal happiness is that idol.

“But, God wants me to be happy, right?” It’s a fair question, and I think the answer is yes, but only if what is making you happy isn’t also something that breaks His heart. “I love this time of year! The leaves, pumpkin spice, and sweater weather really make me happy,” is one thing. “My wife is always nagging me, but my co-worker is so nice, and when I’m with her, she really makes me happy,” is a whole other thing.

Too many have justified sin because it made them happy in the moment.

Of course, my guess is that you probably agree with that statement, and so maybe that’s too easy of an example. But what about when we find ourselves in hard situations with no clear way out? Isn’t our initial response often just to assume God doesn’t want us in any circumstance – sinful or not – that is difficult?

“Ever since I decided to follow Jesus – to learn and live His ways – life has gotten so hard. Clearly, Christianity doesn’t work!”

If we base every decision on how happy the outcome will make us, we’ll frequently find ourselves asking God to get us out of places He may have led us into, and the result of that will be frustration.

I see that hand. Did you have a question?

“Yes. Are you saying that God would intentionally lead me into a place or circumstance that won’t make me happy? I’m not sure that I believe that.”

I hear you, and I totally understand the struggle with that concept. Maybe a few scriptures will help.

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. (‭‭Matthew‬ ‭4‬:‭1, emphasis mine)

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered… (Hebrews‬ ‭5‬:‭7‬-‭8‬, emphasis mine)

He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. (‭‭Luke‬ ‭22‬:‭41‬-‭42‬, ‭44‬, emphasis mine)

About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”). (Matthew‬ ‭27‬:‭46, emphasis mine)

The point? If Jesus wasn’t living His best life now, what makes us think we’re supposed to? Jesus found Himself on multiple occasions in situations that were anything but happy, and yet, He never lost sight of the joy in it all. The writer of Hebrews even says that it was specifically FOR THE JOY that Jesus endured the cross (that’s Hebrews 12:2).

Jesus knew that joy through suffering lasts longer and resides deeper than happiness in circumstance. And if He was living for more than just happiness, maybe it’s not a bad thing for us to, as well.

A hard thing, yes. But not a bad thing, and just like Jesus found joy on the other side of the cross, you and I will find it on the other side of the things He’s promised to help us bear, too.

A few more scriptures will help us land this plane.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭33, emphasis mine)

Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.

‭‭(1 Timothy‬ ‭6‬:‭17, emphasis mine)

Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. (3 John‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬-4, emphasis mine)

If you’ve read this far, you may be thinking this blog post is the desert the Spirit has led you into, so let me wrap it up this way: God doesn’t want you to be miserable, but because He’s a good Father, He can use the things that make us miserable to prepare us for the things that will fill us with joy.

That’s why happiness is good, but it can’t be the goal.

So the next time you aren’t happy, don’t simply assume you’re supposed to be. Instead, ask God if there is joy waiting for you that will only be revealed through that circumstance, and if He says yes, ask Him for the strength and grace to stand in it.

And then? Well, as Ephesians 6:13 says, once you’ve done everything you know to stand, just stand.

After all, the joy doesn’t come from the suffering, but instead, knowing Who is standing with you in it.

Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash