My seat was always in the middle, to the right of my mother and the left of my father, and I ate with my head down. There was no sense looking at my parents because they would not be looking at me. Even if they had, I hated looking at Mom. There’s something so horrifying about seeing a person whose spirit has been broken. Dinnertime was all the proof I needed to know that Mom was an empty shell, barely recognizable as a person.
There was always the attempt at conversation. I wanted so badly to be part of my father’s life, his day, his job. And though I knew he wouldn’t respond, I always tried.
“Dad?â€
“Mmpph,†he’d reply, his mouth stuffed with food.
“How was work today?â€
“I don’t wanna talk about it.†His voice sounded edgy, and though I knew I shouldn’t, I pushed harder. After all, he was my father and I loved him. “What happened? Was it a bad day?â€
“I said I don’t want to talk about it!†The rising volume warned me, like a growling bear. He was in a bad mood just like all the other nights. And just like all those other nights, my attempts had failed. But I never learned, and I never stopped trying. Surely, if anyone could cheer Dad up after a bad day, I could. Cautiously, I approached again.
“Dad…â€
“SHUT UP! Can’t you see I’m trying to eat?! Why do you keep bothering me? Just sit there and let me eat in peace!â€
Silence. Only the silverware hitting the plates dared to make a sound. Why did he always yell at me like that? What did I do wrong? I must have been a bad son. A good son wouldn’t have bothered his father during dinner. A good son would have eaten his food and kept quiet.
Lost time – Part III tomorrow…
Are you writing your “bio” or just “science fiction” ?
It’s not my bio, that’s for sure. It’s fiction that I wrote a while back.