Imagine for a moment a room filled with thousands of people all talking at the same time. Each one could be making really valid points, but none of them are really being heard. It’s conversational chaos. And the greater the chaos in the conversation, the greater the likelihood that there will be misunderstanding in the conversation.
In case you didn’t make the connection, I just described social media. Everybody’s making a point but with so many nuances of communication missing (non-verbal cues, vocal tones, etc.), the possibility of misunderstanding can escalate through the roof pretty quickly. Communication en masse often becomes communication that’s a mess, and the question is what do we do when things get messy?
Let me submit a practice that I’m trying to implement on a much more regular basis: master the art of leaning in instead of reading in.
All of us are masters at reading in, aren’t we? We think we know what the other person was saying and so we read that into what they posted and then we use our post to respond to what we’re convinced they were trying to communicate to us in the generic words they typed. When we read in, we start burning bridges unnecessarily. We assume the worst of the other because we interpreted what they said or typed through the filter that only shows the best of us to ourselves.
So instead of reading in, take the time to lean in. Cut out all the competing noise by choosing not to respond en masse. Remember how hard it was to hear everything in that crowded room I mentioned at the beginning? Choose to step out of that room and lean in one-on-one by send that person a message or a text or, even better, calling them or meeting for a cup of coffee. You may find that you still disagree, but at least you will disagree with a person and not just a point. And who knows? It’s possible that by leaning in instead of reading in, you’ll find that the conversation leads to a revelation about the other person that brings the two of you closer together.
And that’s the social part that we sometimes miss when we read into what others post on social media.
This year, master the art of leaning in instead of reading in.
