This is my first post in February, or what is otherwise known as the beginning of “The Annual Black Hole of Gym Memberships” for most people.

Did you know that a staggering 90% of people who join a gym as part of a “New Year — New You” resolution will stop going within three months?

NINETY PERCENT.

That’s a big elephant in the room. An elephant that represents failure (again!), and the realization that we may never be one of those people — the ones who stick with things and succeed.

It’d be one thing if it was just a gym elephant, but here’s the insidious thing about the “I always try and never succeed” elephant: he doesn’t stay in the workout room. He follows us into other rooms.

Into the “I need to be more organized” room, and then the “I’m going to read the Bible this year” room. Give him enough time, and he’ll squeeze himself into other unexpected spaces, too.

Late at night, you may wake up and find him in the bed next to you, an unwelcome reminder that you forgot to do that thing you promised your son or daughter that you’d do. “No, really,” you’d said, “I promise I’ll do it this time.”

It’s ironic, isn’t it, that the elephant that never forgets is really good at making sure we never forget our shortcomings, or our past attempts to do better or be better? It can feel overwhelming, but what if I told you that it is possible to change past patterns?

What if I told you that you could eat that elephant? I know what you’re thinking. Continue reading

Reading Time: 3 minutesMost of us don’t like the idea of failing and I understand why. It sounds negative, defeating, and deflating. It’s all we can do to even hear the word but to make it our most important resolution of the new year? That’s just plain insanity.

Or is it?

Isn’t the famous definition of insanity “doing the same things while expecting different results?” If that’s true (and it is), and you’ve spent most of your life trying to avoid failure, then perhaps embracing failure could be just the thing that propels you into your best year yet.

Here are 5 reasons why:

Failure isn’t fatal but the fear of failure is

I’m not going to suggest that we should start liking failure, but I am going to suggest that we stop fearing it. Have you ever wondered how many inventions, ideas or books were never created just because of the fear of failure? In a culture full of participation trophies, perhaps the best thing we could do is teach the next generation how to try, fail, and survive. I’m convinced that nothing would strengthen our nation more than a healthy dose of failure because failure brings us to a critical point of decision.

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Failure forces us to decide if it’s worth it

One of my favorite proverbs is found in the Bible, and it simply says that even though a righteous man falls seven times, he gets back up. The obvious questions, of course, is why get back up if you keep getting knocked down? The answer is just as obvious: because whatever we’re fighting for is worth it. Failure is what brings us to that critical point where we decide whether or not we’re going to stay in and keep at it even though it would be easier to step out and quit.

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Failure makes us find a better way

You failed, and that failure helped you realize that the fight, the journey, the pursuit, is worth it. Now what? You dig in and determine to find a better way. I love the story about Thomas Edison’s reaction when the plant where he worked on his inventions burned to the ground. He calmly said to his son, “We just got rid of a lot of rubbish.” While he lost almost a million dollars in the fire, his team went on to produce ten times that much in the year after the fire. When we accept setbacks as setups, we unlock the power of this truth: our best days almost always follow our worst days.

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Failure allows us to succeed with humility

Perhaps the biggest benefit to resolving to fail forward this year is this: when you do succeed (and you will succeed!), people will actually want to celebrate with you because your failures will allow you to succeed with humility. Let’s face it, nobody likes a success who is still convinced that it’s all about them, and there is nothing like a dose or two of failure to remind all of us that success hinges on a whole lot more than our abilities and creativity.

My advice to you (and to myself) is simple: dream big, fail often, and never stop pursuing the success that is waiting just on the other side of the blow that knocked you down.

So get up, dust off, and be thankful that you’re one failure closer to the fulfillment of the dream.

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Reading Time: 3 minutesFor all you leaders and leaders-to-be out there…

With tongue firmly in cheek, I now offer you…

4 tips that will guarantee you’ll be successful at leading…

…no one.

Convince yourself that you know more than others.  You’re the expert, so make sure to offer your supreme wisdom to everyone.  You’ll find them grateful for you superiority.  Of course, they won’t be around to hear any of your advice, but I’m sure that’s because they’re all out looking for the perfect gift to give you to show their appreciation for how small you make them feel every time you’re around them.  Sure the Bible talks about considering others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3), but you learned that lesson years ago, which is why you can now tell everyone else how good you are at living it out.  Just be sure to shout it, because it’ll be hard for them to hear it, what with them being so far away from your fount of wisdom.

Never learn from your mistakes, but always help others learn from theirs.  This will be confusing for others at first, because most of us are pretty sure that all of us fail some of the time, and so your life serves as a confusing quandary for the rest of us, but we’re thankful to have people in our lives who can so quickly point out all the things we’re doing wrong.  It really helps us grow…farther away from you.

What’s really ironic about this tip is that we all know that none of us is perfect.  Heck, even Jesus said that no one was good except the Father (Luke 18:19), and Jesus actually WAS perfect.  So as you try to appear as if you live a mistake-free life, what you’re actually doing is freeing yourself from having any credibility with anyone else, because people can’t really trust people who act like they aren’t, well, real people.

Remember that you don’t need others; they need you.  It would be rare that you would find yourself in a moment of weakness – after all, you are the expert and you don’t make mistakes – but if you do, never let anyone know it.  The last thing you want is for all the other weak people who need you to be their rock to find out that you’re {gasp!} like them!  If you really want to succeed, be sure to keep all of your relationships on an “I’m ok and you’re not until you let me help you” level.  That way, you can be the hero. Yes, Paul did write in the Bible that our weaknesses are supposed to show God’s strength (2 Corinthians 12:9), but I’m sure God would be okay with you letting the weaknesses in others show everyone how strong you are!

Never do anything with others who aren’t like you or don’t like you.  I’m going to shoot straight with you: being God’s gift to a world of people who aren’t as smart as you, as good as you or as strong as you will be tough, and if you had needs, it would be the need for people to encourage you.  But that would require showing weakness, and since you can’t do that, you’ll probably want to only hang out with other people who are also God’s gift to the rest of us, who are like you and who actually like you.  Finding those people can seem like a daunting task, but I’ve got good news for you.  It’s not as hard as you might think.  Typically, it just requires a mirror.

And now, you’ve even succeeded at that.  Enjoy celebrating at your party of one.