Reading Time: 5 minutes

A couple of weeks ago, my blog blew up.  I wish that I could tell you that I masterminded it, but I didn’t.  In fact, as Exhibit A in the “I had no idea that 52,000 people were gonna read that post” category, you’ll notice the lack of banner ads or any other obnoxious pay-per-click ads anywhere on the blog.  I’d been experimenting with a lot of those but after earning all of one penny (yep, that’s actually true), I decided to pull them exactly one week before the day that I went viral.

I say all of that to help you understand that when I say that I post on this blog every Thursday as a personal exercise to become a better writer, I mean it.  If you and my wife read it, awesome.  If you, my wife and half of the eastern seaboard read it, well, awesome.  But my main reader is God, and this once-a-week exercise in blogging is much more about me and him than it’ll probably ever be about me and anyone else.

So when I posted about my response to a whole bunch of chatter about Steven Furtick, Elevation Church and why most of the talking heads should probably just shut up, I was pretty surprised when I logged back on later that afternoon and saw how many people had read it.  I was even more surprised the day after it posted as the blog traffic kept climbing, quadrupling my record for most visits in a day.  (I’m not gonna lie, I was kicking myself for pulling those Google ads.  I’m pretty sure I would have made at least a quarter that day.)

But while I was surprised at the volume of readers, I wasn’t surprised at the responses, which could basically be lumped into 2 groups: one group that thanked me for defending a fellow pastor (especially from people who attend or are affiliated with Elevation) and a second group that asked the question, “If we’re all supposed to just shut up, is there EVER a time when we should speak up?”

To the first group, you’re welcome, although I wasn’t writing to defend Furtick as much as to examine myself.

And to the second group, yes, sometimes there is a need to speak up.

So, along those lines, let me share some practical guidelines about what to do when you feel like it’s time to speak up.

Speak in love or sit in silence

Of all the writers in the New Testament, James was the least likely to win the award for tact.  He wasn’t subtle, and he wasn’t afraid to speak (write) his mind.  He wrote to the church and called them out for whining in hard times, playing favorites, acting religious but not acting with mercy, saying one thing and doing another, having too much pride, and using riches as power over those who had less.

I’d say James had a pretty good handle on speaking up about bad things in church.  But he also gave this little nugget of wisdom at the beginning of his letter:

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19-20)

James had a lot to say to the church, but James also understood the importance of listening and understanding before speaking.  Of course, people who don’t care about the church and leaders with whom they may disagree won’t want to take any time to listen.  Too often, we just want to climb on the soapbox and spout our wisdom because we want to feel good about who we are and what we have to say.

Listening is so important, because it allows us to hear another person’s heart.  And that’s huge.  Even then, before we respond to that person, it’s wise to understand God’s heart on the matter, which is why Paul wrote in Philippians 4:6 that we should make our requests known to God.  It’s always good to ask ourselves whether we’ve prayed about what we’re getting ready to speak about.

When I was in India last year I got to spend time with a pastor there who is a giant in the faith.  Humble, yet powerful.  A servant to the poor and to Jesus.  The kind of man we’d all like to be.  I asked him about his prayer life and why he gets up so early everyday to spend time with the Lord.  His answer was simple and I have yet to be able to shake it: “I want to talk to God before I talk to men.  I want to see His face before I see the face of men.”

If you’re keeping up, you’re seeing a progression.  First, listen before you speak.  Second, talk to God about it before you talk to men about it.  And then, ask yourself one final question: am I speaking up out of love for Jesus, His church, and the person I’m correcting?

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:15)

A big part of how God plans to mature the church is by the church speaking the truth to each other.  But it isn’t just about speaking truth, it’s about how we’re speaking truth.  Until we can say that we’re speaking truth based in love for the church and the person, I still say we’d be better to just shut up. If we can’t speak in love, we’d be better off to sit in silence until we can.

No more doctrinal drive-bys

But there will be times when we’ve stopped at each of those checkpoints and gotten the green light.  There will be times when our motives are pure and our motivation is godly.  What do we do then?  We speak up, and we have conversations.

Too many times our blogs are confrontational instead of conversational.  We spew truth in a way that is religious but not relational.  We picket instead of pray, and run the risk of driving away the lost who need the love of Jesus because they don’t see the bride of Jesus acting very loving.

What’s interesting to me is that, more than likely, all of the people who responded to my first post on Furtick and Elevation actually love Jesus.  The problem is that most of us haven’t learned how to love each other.  It would be like one of my sons loving me but hating his brother.  Umm, we’d have a problem, yes?

Does God want all of us to agree on everything?  No.  Does He want us to love each other in every disagreement? Yes.  And so all through scripture when godly people disagreed with other godly people, they understood the need for confrontation based in conversation.

Matthew 18:15-17 is clear that we should point out error and sin, and yet every step is in relationship with a hope to restore.  Even when Paul disagreed with Peter (2 huge names in the days of the early church), Galatians 2:11 says that he rebuked him face to face.  Paul didn’t write a blog on a scroll and blast it to everyone in the world.  He sat down with a brother and had a conversation about his concerns.

I can hear you out there saying that you’ll never have the chance to sit face to face with Steven Furtick, and you’re probably right.  I’m not gonna lie, I’d love to sit down face to face with him, too, because there are some real concerns that I would love to talk through with him.  I’d love to ask questions, to listen before speaking (or writing, as may be the case) and to honestly pray with and for him.  I need that, and so does he.  We all need people in our corner who aren’t afraid to tell us the hard things, even when the words sting.  A wiser man than I am said it like this:

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. (Proverbs 27:5-6)

But there is a way to openly correct in a conversational manner, and I’d like to think that this post – as well as the first one that blew up my blog for a couple of days – is written less like a doctrinal drive-by shooting and more like a conversation between friends and brothers who love the same Father.  Because when we love Jesus and love each other, the best thing we can do is speak up, because when we speak up, all of us can grow up.

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