In case the acronym “FOMO” has escaped your radar in recent years, its letters stand for the Fear Of Missing Out, and it’s a real thing. With all the opportunities available to us because of our technology driven and connected world, the feeling that we could miss something big simmers below the surface all the time.
That fear keeps us scrolling and refreshing feeds in case the big story breaks. It can keep us hopping from one place to another and then back again because we don’t want to be in the wrong place when the next big thing drops. Of course, we’re also never really present where we are because we’re scrolling and refreshing to see if we might have actually missed out on the big thing that’s happening in the other place!
If that last paragraph made you tired, then you’re starting to get a feel for how exhausting FOMO can be.
I think that one of the hidden blessings that COVID-19 may have presented us with is the opportunity to communicate something far more powerful than fear, and specifically, the fear of missing out. Feeding people’s FOMO doesn’t actually motivate them to want to make sure they don’t miss out on the next thing we do. Ironically, I got that form of communication just last night. Apparently, I missed the greatest event ever, and as I read it, I kept wondering if they knew that all it really communicated was that I missed out, not that I was missed.
As a leader, I’m so convicted about this. How often have I communicated to people that they missed out more than they were missed? Sure, I never meant to communicate that, but that’s the subtle danger of the FOMO message: people missing us instead of us missing people.
[Tweet “How often have I communicated to people that they missed out more than they were missed?”]So, I’m kicking the FOMO message to the curb, and I’m picking up the ROMO message (and no, this has nothing to do with the Tony Romo, the famous Dallas Cowboys QB). I want to start clearly communicating the Reality Of Missing Others. We did this a couple of Sundays ago at The Gathering, the church I have the honor of pastoring. We had everyone who was in the building stand and reach their hands out toward the camera while we prayed for the ones watching the livestream. The reason was simple: we wanted them to know that WE MISSED THEM and we saw them. Communicating the ROMO message doesn’t communicate guilt for not being there, but rather the simple relational hurt of not being together.
[Tweet “The subtle danger of the FOMO message: people missing us instead of us missing people.”]Isn’t that what COVID-19 has taught us? That while many have been isolated, no one truly wants to be alone, and telling someone in that situation that they missed out on what they couldn’t have been a part of doesn’t help them. At all. But the ROMO message is life-giving because it reminds all of us that we value one another.
Even if we missed it.
